Learning to Swim

A few years ago I read a book by Shauna Niequist called Bittersweet – it’s a collection of stories that focus on how to graciously navigate seasons of change. After all this time there has been only one portion of the book that has persisted in its ability to resonate with me on a day-to-day frequency.

It lives in Chapter One, titled “Learning to Swim“.

“I learned about waves when I was little, swimming in Lake Michigan in navy blue water under a clear sky, and the most important thing I learned was this: if you try to stand and face the wave, it will smash you to bits, but if you trust the water and let it carry you, there’s nothing sweeter. And a couple decades later, that’s what I’m learning to be true about life, too. If you dig in and fight the change you’re facing, it will indeed smash you to bits. It will hold you under, drag you across the rough sand, scare and confuse you.”

This metaphor for swimming is one that resembles an internal struggle in my world. For as long as I can remember I have been a meticulous planner, a calculated risk-taker, and someone who only steps forward when I am certain I’m stepping on solid ground. I consistently abide by a plan because having a thought-out schedule and a defined objective translates as assurance that I’m not going to fail.

When I first read “Learning to Swim” it resonated with me instantaneously. Particularly because I always try to fight the waves – literally and metaphorically. I consistently plant my feet deep in the thick, heavy sand and evenly distribute my weight as if to think I have the capability of halting the power of a vast ocean wave.

The beginning of 2017 has, in every way, resembled the relief of coming up for air. It has surprised me with a newfound ability to abandon my need to fight the waves, and to instead embrace the freedom to swim.

Niequist writes: “Unclench your fists, unlock your knees and also the door to your heart, take a deep breath, and begin to swim. Begin to let the waves do their work in you.”

If I’m being honest, I’m not good at being carried. I’m not the girl to “just roll with it”, I don’t like asking for help and I don’t do well navigating chaos and change with blind eyes. But in learning to resist the need to be in control, all the things I once tried to figure out have fallen in to a better place than I could have ever managed, let alone imagined, on my own.

I have found that my heart is fuller and my life is richer because I’ve learned to ride the wave and just say yes. Navigating the change that is inevitable in this season of life can wear you out and knock you over, but the determination to succumb to the rhythm of the wave itself is nothing short of liberating. Withstanding the obligation to be in control has taught me to be more gracious, to intentionally and actively push myself out of my comfort zone, and to whole-heartedly embrace the thrill of learning to swim.

Sweet Sixteen

Last Sunday, I woke up to a sunny morning in Seattle, WA on New Year’s Day. I had the best NYE full of dancing, laughing and just the right amount of adventure with some of my favorite people from college.  When I woke up on January 1st, I was ready to leave behind 2016 without thinking twice about it.

I usually find purpose in reflecting on a chapter as it closes and another begins, but this year I was completely uninspired. 2016 was a hard year for me. Its staples and monumental moments are best defined by change, uncertainty and overthinking, and that really took a toll on me. I struggled with feeling confident about what I wanted out of the post-grad chapter of my life and that led me to do a lot of questioning, and consequently a lot of soul searching.

While I didn’t see a purpose in writing or reflecting on 2016 a week ago, yesterday I discovered the purpose I initially lacked. As I was scrolling on Facebook searching for photos to include in a new project, I was reacquainted with the sweet moments and accomplishments of last year.

To name a few…

I relaunched Velvet + Vinyl with two of the most driven, hard-working, inspirational women that I know. Building this project was undoubtedly one of the all-time highs of 2016. We made huge strides, grew our girl gang and accomplished so much in a short nine months. The best part is that there is still so much more to come.

On a personal note, I learned how to be a leader, how to run, inspire and manage a business, how to communicate, inspire and empower the creative women I call my team and how to establish our blog in an arena that is overly saturated.

I went to New York City with 100 of my advertising peers and experienced the trip of a lifetime. I visited agencies, was wow-ed by the brilliance of those in the industry, discovered my favorite NYC coffee shop and visited The High Line, the Brooklyn Bridge, the 9/11 memorial museum, Teen Vogue HQ, the MoMa and Cooper Hewitt. I learned so much about myself and about life in those seven days and am incredibly fond of all this week entails.

I graduated college from the University of Oregon and earned my degree in Advertising. I traveled to McCall, Idaho and checked another state off of my traveling bucket list while learning how to wakesurf. I saw Journey and the Doobie Brothers live in concert. I played in snow in shorts and 70° weather. I planned photoshoots, partnered with well known brands and joined forces with ambitious women who stood by me in making them successful. I bought new records and tried new restaurants and went to Mad Decent Block Party with my best friends. I visited wineries, attended baseball games in my hometown of Cincinnati and traveled down I-5 to relive the glory days of Oregon Duck football. I roasted marshmallows and played bananagrams while camping in a vineyard (don’t worry, it was legal). I took road trips to beaches and to the mountains and went snow-skiing for the first time this Christmas. I packed two suitcases full of all the things that felt like home and moved 3,000 miles away from the green trees and mountains that I love so much. I saw Joseph perform live in Portland, met the girls after and collaborated with them, and with Sarah Donofrio (S15 of Project Runway) to create new blog content for V+V.

On the other hand, I questioned, and struggled to answer, what I want to do with my life. I entertained the thought of moving to a range of different cities and analyzed what life might look like should I decide to call a given city home. I applied for jobs I didn’t get, applied for jobs I didn’t want and I wrestled with feeling misguided when there were no limits for what path I could pursue.

While the internal battles and the stream of unknowns I struggled with were draining and discouraging, there were still so many sweet moments that occupied this chapter of my life. I think when things are hard it’s easy to overlook the good that still exists despite the persistent nagging of daily challenges. So while 2016 was full of many things that I’m happy to leave behind, this year was also full of two vibrant reminders: 1.) life is what you make it and 2.) even the little things have the power of inspiring fulfillment, gratitude and happiness.

 

 

 

State of Mentality

The topic of mental illness is typically not a popular one. It’s not glamorous or pretty, and consequently it has become a topic that has been hushed and silenced.

Given that today is World Mental Health Day, I felt inclined to get back to my writing roots to further explore the topic and the relationship between mental illness and mental health. This is primarily because I have recently become reacquainted with the importance in prioritizing one’s mental health, but also because in doing so, I have been reminded that mental illness is something that is really more common than people acknowledge.

In this season of my life, I have struggled immensely with anxiety. The worst part about this struggle has been its obscurity. It comes in waves – occasionally, I can sense it, and other times it is an expeditious surprise that I am in no way prepared for.

As I have confided in my family and closest friends the state of my mind through this internal battle, I have realized many people whom I hold close to me struggle with their own mental challenges. While I had previously reverted to my routine of working through my emotions and feelings independently, these conversations have allowed me to realize that in no way am I the only person in my world who confronts a lack of mental well-being. Urban Meyer, head football coach of the Ohio State University football team, recently spoke out about his experience with his own form of mental illness and affirmed this notion: “I am not the lone wolf.”

According to the National Institute of Mental Health an estimated 43.6 million Americans aged 18 and older had some sort of mental illness in 2014*. So while the topic may not be an appealing one, it is pertinent and upholds a sense of relevance in this day and age. For me, maybe for you, and even for people whom our society so dearly admires, like Kid Cudi, who announced last week via Facebook his decision to proceed with rehab due to depression and suicidal urges. If we aren’t alone, why aren’t we talking more about mental illness and mental health?

//

Meg Fee is a blogger whom I’ve followed for quite awhile, and today she posted something inspiring in response to her own battle with mental health. In addition to a blog post, she shared a photo on Instagram, complete with a caption that delivers insight on her best self-care strategies.

While I think there is something powerful in acknowledging and validating the presence of mental illness in society today, I also believe there is something empowering about sharing self-care rituals. I urge you to consider yours, and am challenging myself to consider my own. If your in need of inspiration, read on.

“In honor of World Mental Health Awareness Day, this is how I self care:”

Breakfast every morning. A cup of hot tea. Making art, particularly watercolors. $5 flower boutiques from Trader Joe’s in a makeshift mason jar vase. Long runs and autumn air. Exploring through the lens of my camera. Brunch dates. The scratches and pops of the record player. Magazines and newspapers. Subsets of vanilla candles. Bi-weekly phone calls with Grandma. Verses and quotes. Sunrise views. Primrose and peppermint essential oil. Homemade meals. Scribbles in notebooks and published writing. Long walks with no determined destination. The necklace I made of my Grandpa’s cash clip. Meaningful conversations. Pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese icing from New Season’s. My leather jacket.Root beer floats. Sending handwritten notes via snail mail. Glossier facewash and Coconut Oil face moisturizer. Boating trips with family. Oversized sweatshirts. Clean sheets and too many pillows. Prints by Andy Warhol and words by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Bubble baths and white wine. The sound of rainfall.

 

• = Statistic from “I’m Not the Lone Wolf” article published on Bleacher Report

NYC: Big Dreams In The City That Never Sleeps

Last week, I had the opportunity to travel to New York City with 100 of my most ambitious peers pursuing the advertising industry. This opportunity translates as one of the most rewarding learning experiences I have acquired in college. It taught me about advertising, about being a passionate professional in the industry and about what I love, what I hate and what my capabilities are, and about who I am as an individual.

clock exhibit at the cooper hewitt design museum

fashion technology at cooper hewitt – a dress made of black straws

inspiration

postage stampe exhibit at cooper hewitt

CHDM

lunch in bryant park

wallpaper at sparks + honey

this city fuels my love of black + white

central park w/ the roomies

the concrete jungle

brooklyn bridge

can’t get enough of this city

NYC pizza for the win

mcnally jackson – my favorite coffeehouse / book store

print pages on the walls and chapter books dangling from the ceiling

city views

the gang #scoducks

cupcakes and street corners

city bliss

the high line – an outdoor park created using old train tracks with stellar views

view from the high line

times square is lit

always black + white

love in the city

hi from the kardashians

wall art in soho

yankees vs. red sox

the moma

andy warhol’s soup cans / the moma

the beatles

vintage inspo

so 70s

inspired by ken kesey + the merry pranksters

the fashion institute at the met

a fashion lover’s dream

architecture inspo

adventuring city style

little italy, NYC

teen vogue headquarters – my inner 14 year old would be so proud

9/11 mueseum – the most humbling experience

missing persons from 9/11

maman – my favorite coffeeshop

this city makes my heart feel at home

coffee only at maman

friends in the city

times square

stone street for dinner

the one world trade center

Who Run the World? Girls.

International Women’s Day is exploding all over my social media feeds today and the energy of this movement is too inspiring not to share. We fail to see women supporting women on a consistent basis, and today the willingness to do so is worth celebrating.

As the movement for women empowerment and equal rights persists, it’s encouraging to see the ways that the dreams of women are being validated. For the first time, women are being empowered to pursue their purpose and with that notion comes a revolution of so many things: confidence, self-worth, a voice, a dream; a quiet whisper that emerges from the empty shadows and comes to life.

There’s few women who embody the characteristics of a strong, independent women better than Beyoncé, and I love this quote she’s shared.

I wrote a piece a few weeks ago about how we often feel obligated to justify the things we want in our lives, when we really don’t owe anyone an explanation for our dreams, wants, desires, etc. Women have been told to accept what is given to them, and now women are being encouraged to ask for and to seize the things that weigh most on their heart.

This post would be incomplete without featuring Liz Forkin Bohannon, the founder of the truly wonderful Sseko Designs. Liz is a visionary– she’s intentional, courageous, creative and so brilliant. Her lifestyle demonstrates the aspirations that exist among women across the board. Many dream of being purposeful and impactful and of a world that has something beautiful and meaningful to offer, and the entire Sseko team embodies this so admirably. If you haven’t, check out their story on their website and splurge on some of their amazing products.

“The Future is Female.” USA Today published an article covering a compelling project from the Google Doodle team. The #OneDayIWill campaign compiles the goals of women from all over the world. The 337 women and girls who contributed to this project have enormous dream including world peace, a world that doesn’t know judgement and improving coding skills that continues to advance technology in the most beneficial ways.

Rebecca Minkoff was featured as one of 33 female entrepreneurs who have remarkable and inspiring stories to tell. Spring, a fashion brand that offers a unique shopping experience inspired by the time of year, partnered with I AM THAT GIRL, an incredible charity dedicated to empowering women, to help raise money and awareness for the cause. 

We are people. We are colorful, lively, surprising, fearless, free-wheeling, rule-breaking, rule-making, quick, curious, playful, strong women, so says the Kate Spade Foundation.

The mission of the Kate Spade Foundation revolves around the answer to one question.

How do you empower a community? Empower the women in it. Check out this video that shares the story of three women entrepreneurs who have benefitted from the work of this foundation.

The Huffington Post shared a little perspective as it pertains to women and education with an article that depicts women in schools around the world.

I love how these images show how women everywhere are being empowered through education. From the U.S. to Thailand to Brazil to Mexico to France, these photographs depict the willing hearts of women everywhere to cultivate skills and acquire the  knowledgeable that will propel them towards success.

Happy Women’s Day to all the women out there who aren’t afraid to dream big and fail hard. Let’s take the world by storm in pursuit of all the things we’ve been told we can’t achieve.

The Cowardly Lion and the Emerald City

Ever seen The Wizard of Oz? Who am I kidding; chances are if you’re reading this you’ve seen the charming 1939 film at some point or another. Maybe you’re like me and primarily loved the movie because of Dorothy’s unbelievable ruby red sparkling slippers or maybe you were entertained by the rivalry between the witch sisters or maybe it was just a staple of being a 90s kid that you couldn’t avoid. Irregardless– here’s a few modern day thoughts for you as it pertains to the Cowardly Lion circa 2016.

Approaching the end of the roller coaster ride that is college is the most bittersweet reality. And with that comes a lot of unintentional reminiscing about the person you were as a wide-eyed freshman. What did you value, what characteristics most defined your personality, what dreams did you have? While looking back on all of these things, it’s only natural to look at the present and see how you’ve evolved as an individual. Does the journey you’re on resemble that of a specific character from The Wizard of Oz? Meaning, did you find the things you were looking for as freshman?

Did you start the first days of your college experience like the Tin Man in search of a heart? In search of passion or intrinsic motivation or compassion or love? Or maybe your college experience is best reflected by the evolution of the Scarecrow, yearning for purpose and enthusiasm for something you are confident you’re good at. Or maybe you resemble the Cowardly Lion, who started off not really knowing who he was– an incredibly conventional state of mind for college students .

Before I continue, it’s important to note that I in no way mean to suggest that I never identify with the uncertainty and insecurity that constitutes the Cowardly Lion. However, the past few years have taught me so much about who I am, and who I am not. It’s these characteristics that I see in myself that inspired me to write this piece.

Things I am include (or things I strive to be): straightforward– a reflection of my “black and white” personality, open-minded, confrontational, transparent, strong-willed and (take this with a grain of salt) fearless. I thrive on big dreams and the ambiguity that lies in their potential to come true. I like to push, or rather shove, myself outside of my own comfort zone and I’m not reserved when it comes to things I want for myself.

Things I am not include (or things I strive not to be): unapproachable, superior, incapable, intimidating, intimidated, confined, discouraged. etc.

All of these qualities are a result of the following: I want to have hard conversations, I want to be challenged by other people so I can grow and learn, I want to experience life to the fullest, for good and for bad, and  I want to be authentic and honest, with others and with myself, about what I think, feel and want. These are the things that propel the way I live my life.

Recently I’ve realized that so many of these characteristics are a reflection of an individual’s ability, or inability, to identify goals / interests / desires and faithfully pursue them.

So many of my favorite people seem to be struggling with this and I’ve observed the ways it translates as a tremendous setback in their lives. My friends are apologizing for the things that they want, justifying why they can’t go after it, seeking approval they don’t need, waiting for things to happen, or talking themselves out of it altogether.

I mean to say the following in the most gracious way I know how, but I’m tired of seeing my friends fall into the rut that defines the character of the Cowardly Lion. Not because I don’t understand, but because I think they deserve more. I think they deserve to say the things they want to say without reservation, feel the things they want to feel without explanation and do the thing they want to do without feeling like its impractical or selfish or unrealistic.

Society has encouraged us to hold back and bottle things up and that’s a norm worth rebelling against. Instead of conforming to the notion that it’s wrong or unacceptable for us to want what we want for whatever reason seems most appropriate, I hope we all can embrace the journey of the Yellow Brick Road (aka college, and life for that matter) all the way to the Emerald City and I hope when we reach the end destination we will have shed behind the things that once made us cowardly and replace it with an unwavering sense of confidence. I hope in doing so we’ll learn it’s okay to take chances. In fact, I hope we all become inspired by it. So inspired that we’ll accept the truth that it’s okay to entertain the idea of unlikely risks and it’s okay to fail. It’s okay to take a wrong turn, it’s okay to get rejected and it’s okay if things don’t work out the way you anticipated. 

One of my all-time favorite quotes is one of famous architect, Frank Lloyd Wright. “You must go whole-heartedly into anything worth having.”

So whatever in your life is worth having – sincere friendships, romntic relationships, big dreams that translate to promising careers, idealized lifestyles, persisting ideas that are waiting to be brought to life – whatever it is that’s weighing on your heart, it’s there for a reason. Trust your gut, follow your intuition and embrace the things you want to do unapologetically. Be relentless in advocating for the things worth having, and always remember you are not obligated to justify the things you want, or don’t want, to anyone but yourself.

 

 

Sweet (Twenty)Sixteen

The last time the phrase ‘sweet sixteen’ crossed my mind was probably around September of my junior year of high school when referring to my birthday party. But here we are, six years later in 2016 and this year is very sweet — or bittersweet. A combination of both is my best bet for what’s to come this year.

None the less, the anticipated celebration of ringing in the new year has come and gone and the bliss of winter break is drawing to a close, indicating that it’s back to Eugene and my real-life routine. On New Years Day, my dad and I were exchanging the most memorable stories from our evening celebrations when he introduced me to an idea that seems to have silently faded in to the background amidst metallic 2016 party hats, bottles of champagne and festive sparklers. It’s become a cultural norm to spend New Years celebrating, but my Dad shared with me the self-discipline he practices in using this semi-overrated holiday to prepare.

2016 will be a monumental year for me: graduating college, deciding where on the map I’ll call home come June, where and when I’ll accept a job, if I get admitted and decide to go to grad school to pursue design or fashion merchandising. That’s the sweet part. The bittersweet is leaving behind the home I’ve made in Eugene, saying goodbye to the people I never expected to meet and the strangers I never expected to one day treasure as my friends. There’s the so-long to my brother who will start his own college adventure come August in his own region of the country and more brown packing boxes for my parents as they reinvent their lives as empty-nesters. Many things are ending, and many more are just beginning. 

This year, I wanted to be especially diligent about defining my New Years resolutions. Diligence and intent are the primary themes of my 2016 goals as I want to make the most of everything in front of me. 

1. Be intentional. The people who know me best know I have a tendency to be spontaneous or impulsive depending on the situation. I go with my gut, whether it’s deciding I’m going to watch another episode of SUV or spin some vinyl on the record player, or eat a slice of pizza or a salad or a cupcake. I decide what sounds ideal, I go with it, and then think about it after. In 2016, I’ll strive to be more intentional about the worth of my decisions in an effort to evaluate the choices that are worth making. 
2. Engage in purposeful conversations. I finished reading Bittersweet just before Christmas and was exceptionally moved by the vision of community that becomes a consistent theme throughout the book. I want to spend more time this year having meaningful conversations that are rooted in differing opinions and ideas that challenge me. I want to talk about the things that matter with the hopes that in doing so, I’ll find myself in a community like the one that I found to be so compelling. 
3. Send more cards. From an early age, my grandma instilled in me an appreciation for good old-fashioned, handwritten snail mail. These genuine notes offer a unique sense of thoughtfulness and sincerity that sends a little extra love to the ones who are miles away. I love hour long phone calls and unexpected text messages, but sending handwritten cards is a new priority for 2016.
4. Practice conscious consumerism. My involvement with Sseko Designs over the past year has been an invaluable experience. I have treasured the mission of this company and the brave and intentional hearts of the people who propel the business. Exposure to the practices of ethical fashion has given me a newfound appreciation for the story behind a brand: how things are made, who makes them, what is the purpose behind the product. In 2016 I want to be more diligent about what brands I’m supporting and the ways in which my hard-earned dollars are sustaining its business. I want to support the brands with intent and a willingness to give back.
5. Minimize. This is a repeat on my list from last year, but I think it’s worth striving for. Less is more and I think when you have a few things you really love, you’re able to enjoy it more than having a lot of things you kinda like.

Wishing you all the best in 2016! Xx.

Wise Words from Amy Levin

Yesterday I had a pretty amazing opportunity. While sipping my mid-morning cup of coffee, I had the pleasure of getting to know Amy Levin, the founder of College Fashionista.

I’ve been writing for College Fashionista as a Style Guru for the past three seasons and have loved working with this brand. Having the opportunity to chat with Amy gave me tremendous insight as her advice was as relevant as it was inspiring. As a courageous and exceptional leader in this industry, I couldn’t resist sharing some of her advice with all of you.

Amy and I discussed her experience in growing College Fashionista and hearing her story was remarkable. When the idea originated during her senior year of college, there was nothing like it at the time. Print publications served as the primary source of inspiration for fashion enthusiasts. While pursuing her degree in Indiana, Levin felt isolated from the fashion industry as it tends to be most prevalent in big cities such as New York and Los Angeles. To create a network and community among fashion enthusiasts all across the US, she drew on her knowledge acquired from past internship experiences to start College Fashionista.

The process of growing College Fashionista she describes as being very organic. She started with the goal of targeting 10 college campuses and found that CF quickly began to boom. As a hard worker, Amy was committed to her brand and was devoted to making it successful, and thus developed the brand while learning through trial and error.

What I found to be so compelling about Amy’s story is the way in which she emphasized the value of believing in your idea, applying a strong work ethic and seeing it through. She also touched on the idea of being a #girlboss. When Sophia Amoruso launched the idea of being an ambitious woman entrepreneur, it empowered and inspired many. But Amy reminded me that being a girlboss requires patience and resilience as there is pressure, industry expectations and lots of unexpected curveballs that weigh in to the progression of any dream.

The other thing I took away from my conversation with Amy is the importance of being willing to put yourself out there. She shared, “Be open to any opportunity that comes your way. Diversify your experience and apply for jobs that will give you the opportunity to learn different aspects of the industry.”

Amy also encouraged me to network with confidence. The concept of putting yourself out there includes reaching out to people to learn about their experience and career path and to establish connections in the industry. While universities often reiterate the importance of networking, Amy’s advice resonated with me because she emphasized two things: 1.) people tend to be more willing to talk to you than you initially think, so don’t hesitate to reach out to people with the fear that they’ll reject you and 2.) let people talk. I think sometimes it’s easy to feel inclined to to lead the conversation when you’re the one reaching out to someone, but sitting back and listening is key when networking with industry professionals because it really gives you the chance to take in all of their advice and input.

Amy inspired me yesterday. Her kindness, approachability and wisdom indicate why she is a leader in this industry. To all you aspiring entrepreneurs, I encourage you to follow Amy’s story, take her advice to heart and apply it to whatever dreams you may have, fashion-related or otherwise.

Thank you for taking the time to meet with me, Amy! Your efforts in the industry are exceptional. I am so humbled to have had the chance to learn more about you + College Fashionista! xx.

Gratitude + What Comes Next

Nov. 27, 2015: Another year and another holiday with too many mashed potatoes and not enough pumpkin pie.

This Thanksgiving was filled with all good things: red cups + peppermint mochas, shopping sprees with Ma and Grammie, record store finds for holiday vinyl, chocolate goodies from Goody’s, backgammon games and countless rounds of gin rummy, fashion blogging, 10 barrel brews and 14 inches for a fresh sheet of sparkling white snow (!!!). These little gifts have all contributed to a much-needed pause from the colored chaos of fall quarter.

This season has been a whirlwind of sweet moments, a bittersweet goodbye, hard questions and uncertain answers about what comes next. My whole life I’ve been a planner. I’m detailed, organized and (usually) punctual and have consequently grown comfortably relying on a concrete plan. Sometimes that pertains to the scribbled mess in my Kate Spade planner for tomorrow’s to-do’s, sometimes it pertains to my schedule for next month or my goals for next year.

For the first time in my life, I’m unable to provide an answer of certainty when people ask me what’s next. The truth is, I have no idea where I’ll be come June, and that’s partially reflective of the fact that there are too many things I want to do. I know when people ask they mean well; their questions and curiosity are intended to relay their care and support as one chapter of my life closes and another begins. But my inability to respond to these questions with assurance and confidence is intimidating because my future is not defined by a single decision. There’s three potential cities I wish to move too, a series of job descriptions I think and hope I’m qualified for, a particular setting I envision being most ideal to live in and a list of both realistic and unlikely dreams I hope will still persist a year from now. There are so many things about life in this moment that I’m not ready to let go of, in part because I’m not sure what I’m willing to give up, and that in itself makes daydreaming about the future difficult.

As graduation nears, I realize there are some things about my life I’ll have to savor and some I’ll have to compromise, but in the mean time, this Thanksgiving was a little reminder of the chapter that is closing. Not just for me, but for my brother who’s graduating high school and anticipating the start of a new adventure in college, and for my parents, who are considering what dreams exist in the next chapter of their own lives.

So this year, I am thankful. I’m thankful for music and art, vintage records, creativity, my sweet and affectionate pup, the love that exists in the Potter House, unwavering friendships, laughter, new books, craft beers and games of pool, and the traditions that sustain so much of my life as I know it. But most importantly, I’m thankful for two gentle reminders: 1.) family is forever and 2.) it’s okay not to know what comes next. I find comfort in knowing that I have options and that the next chapter will be full of something great. They say that the best things in life are the opportunities that we don’t expect, so I’m focusing on the moment I’m in and waiting for the future to reveal itself.

Cheers to having too many things to be thankful for, to the season of holiday cookies and Christmas playlists and to shedding the fear of what comes next.

A Letter For All The Girls Who Didn’t Wake Up Like This

A few days ago, Australian model and Instagram celebrity Essena O’Neill brought light to a conversation that has been lingering in the dark regarding the expectations and realties of social media. O’Neill modified the name of her Instagram account to “Social Media Is Not Real Life” and edited the captions of her photographs to proclaim the measures she went to in order to achieve photographic perfection.

Her statements and words were full of honesty that reflects an authentic truth. Her newly revised captions revealed her extreme calorie counting, excessive exercising and her numerous attempts to shoot a photograph with the right angle and the perfect candid expression. While there has been rumored suspicions about O’Neill’s intentions, her message, whether it reflect her personal beliefs or simply be a strategy for smart marketing, is full of truth that is overlooked day to day.

As an aspiring photographer and someone who is captivated by a flow of images, there are so many aspects of social media, and even Instagram in particular, that I have learned to love: the visual aesthetic, the way our collection of photographs portray who we are and where we come from and the coined “artsy” images that offer inspiration while scrolling through our Insta feed. However, the culture of social media has undoubtedly redefined a level of competitive standards that previously did not exist and continue to go unnoticed. Consider how you perceive another user’s account. Do any of these thoughts or comments resonate with you?

• Everything about her / her life is perfect.
• Wow, so beautiful.
• You look hot, you skinny mini!
• You are absolutely perfect.
• Teach me how to be you.
• You’re too cool (or successful, glamorous, flawless, enter adjective here).

Since Instagram established itself as a leading social media platform, it has inaugurated an all-consuming thought-process where the identity you develop and the status you maintain electronically reflects a suggested value of your self-worth. The quality of your photographs, the aesthetic of your profile, the number of followers you have and the average number of likes each of your posts receive — these are all components of Instagram that internally influence how we perceive our own self worth.

I don’t mean to imply that these comments and compliments are all negative because if we’re being honest- who doesn’t appreciate words of affirmation? Positive self-talk among women is empowering. I love the concept of language building up the women around us. However, I think that it can easily dissuade our perceptions of ourself.

This may come across as a dramatized or exaggerated claim, but whatever way you spin it, Instagram can easily portray an unintentionally fabricated depiction or inaccurate persona. Regardless of what inclined O’Neill to expose the true efforts behind her photographs, there is still a standard that exists in the social media culture.

To all the girls out there who woke up with sleepy eyes, tangled hair and smudged mascara, I urge you to learn to defy the thoughts that encourage you to compare yourself to friends, frenemies and the Australian, and American, models filling your feed with unrealistic notions. Even in an effort to find a black and white all-natural, no make-up photograph to accompany this post, I sifted through hundreds of images that were posed, edited and deceptive. Utilize Instagram for what it is, but don’t discount your originality, natural beauty and the authentic worthiness that make you unique. I can assure you that Instagram fails to appropriately articulate to the rest of the world the things that make you brilliant, innovative, fascinating, creative and independent. Instagram cannot attest to so many aspects of your personality, so refrain from believing the lie that it can do the same for those around you.